Wear the right cape – yours
During the school times I was that guy with outstanding performance. There was a joy of studying hard and being an example to others. I was promised of a great future if I kept this pace of development. That sounded luring and my life goal was potentially having a prestigious 9-5 job with all its perks. But I have always felt a conflict. I imagined and shared with others the dream of playing violin as a street performer. In response I always got confusion from my friends. I dreamed of combining all my skills and build an impressive persona. This is where my ego kicks in, but to be fair I always dreamed to influence in a positive way and make a positive impact. I wanted to make a positive impact in an extraordinary way. The power of my integrity always pushed me further. Last years trying to balance and figure out myself I came to the realisation that I have lost myself. Forgot my genuine purpose and positioning as a person in this universe. After some life changing moments I initiated my power of integrity - got my first tattoo “Sui generis” in Latin. It means “On its own kind”. This helped me to create my own circle of people who shared same values and interests as Latin. I pictured myself as a person clearly visioning his own success. It started with a silly tattoo, but it helped me to dive myself into the journey of personal development. It ignited me to share my vision with others and clearly speak about them. Your dreams from childhood are valid and can be pursued.
Impression
You can start reaching your goals as soon as you know what are you targeting at. I would highly advise to stop being humble with yourselves and bring all your strengths and superpowers. I liked being on stage performing violin and singing during my childhood. It gave me confidence and taught me how to grab public’s attention. My mother always told me that I have only 5 minutes to perform and everything from start to finish matters. She told me that it is the peak time to serve the best I have in myself so that listeners can witness and remember my message. This 5 minutes whenever I go to the meeting or presenting something became a rule of giving the best of me. “Clothes do not make the man” is partly true, but psychologically we make an impression with overall look in less than 5 seconds. I like to explore styles of different power figures and celebrities. Study their fits depending on the cause and events they are attending. I always draw the parallels and try to understand what exactly they are transmitting via their outfits. Clothing and accessories can make big statements. For example, as published by Journal of Fashion Marketing and Management in 2013 they conducted the study to see the difference between bespoke and off market suits. Please see the bar chart below:
From this study we can see that overall impression of the attire which is made to measure has positive impression overall. While I did not find the study which would conduct the accessories power (maybe I should conduct one someday), this is the closest point where I can scientifically prove that well thought out attire affects in a positive way. I did also finalise the overall first impression pie chart divided by message, voice and appearance. By this we can clearly understand that the appearance plays major role:
Never neglect the power of first impression.
Losing my balance
The best way to succeed in this life is to aim for balance. I learnt it the hard way. It might be vague in terms of where do superpowers end and ego begins. Self-awareness can be a kryptonite and false advantage of the power. All our emotions and feelings matter, but it is advisable to be very cautious with your ego in form of arrogance. It can give a massive resource, but it is also serves a big chance to be carried away by your greatness. I was neglecting myself by trying to bring back that student of excellence alter ego while neglecting my new traits and emerging superpowers. I started to act by the book, following all social rules and roles. I started vanishing my features which could help me to stand out. After university I dived into the diplomacy by starting my role at British-Kazakh Society. I started acting like them, dressing like them, talking like them slowly mimicking my colleagues. My dad was very proud of me as I started pursuing his dream and my life was full of attributes of diplomats. I started feeling myself that I was wearing a cape of the wrong superhero. I rejected my inner self and my true nature, I was drowning in the routine and got at my lowest. The wake up call happened when I was attending one of the international meetings and discovered that my laces were ripped. I asked myself how I ended up in this situation and came to conclusion that the shoes I am wearing do not fit me and I need to figure out myself. I have discovered the importance of self-reflection and constant retrospective judgement. I also highly recommend asking others how they perceive your style. It can be anyone, starting from sales associates to your loved ones.
Case study
Many years after it was a sunny day in Riyadh. I quit diplomacy. Started new chapter and I had a chance to join the conference in mining industry and truly felt the power of self-branding. Before packing up to the trip, I have spent days thinking about my wardrobe and my ‘go-to office’ in terms of everyday accessories. I was not sure how I would carry all my documents and materials so I made a stop at Smythson shop in Heathrow. I wanted to get a folder so I won’t be hoarding too many materials but having everything I needed in one place. I bought a nice leather folder with a notebook inside which could fit several materials, pen, tablet and can be easily zipped. As I was travelling to Middle East and personally like green colour, I bought dark green leather folder. It felt perfect, it was very comfortable and rather than carrying a briefcase, I felt lighter than most of other people there. During the conference, I knew someone was looking at me. A gentleman approached me and asked if I was an Arabic delegate because of my folder. Apparently there was a meeting to sign a memorandum of understanding and they all were carrying the folders like mine. We had a nice laugh and chat about the coincidence and later he shared about his area of business. His area of interests perfectly aligned with mine, we had a beneficial conversation and right now we are at the stage of the potential partnership. This is the power of accessories. Smythson leather folder is a sign of cherishing British craftsmanship, heritage and green is a meaningful colour for Arabic world. I carried a fountain pen because for me it is a symbol of careful decision making but once it is done, ink cannot be removed. Think twice. Arabic world is not slow motion, it is moderate and considerate. Arabic world appreciates family – I got Montegrappa pen in green colour. Montegrappa is a family run company, who took back control of their company after being under conglomerate of Richemont Group.
The most important is to translate your inner self into reality by giving the cues. Right targeted cues will be interpreted and understood by likeminded people resulting in strong connections and fulfilled aspirations.
